Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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