somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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