the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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