do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
