i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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