I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Randomize
