filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Shitshow foam night was such a success
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
