wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
