you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize