I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
