oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
false alarm. still invincible.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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