GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
