You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
