Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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