My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Randomize
