there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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