I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
