perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
His nipple licking is glorious
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