oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
