its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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