did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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