Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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