Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I just googled if crying burns calories
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
