Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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