i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
