Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
