I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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