We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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