Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
