i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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