god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
