My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
