Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
