Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize