How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize