She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
