We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
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