ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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