I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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