i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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