she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
