Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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