I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
