so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
We are two peas in an std pod
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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