return my video game
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
