I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
