the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
