I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
