Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
