i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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