Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
