what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
