Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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