That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
