3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
