If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
