Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
