Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
