I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Found the puke drawer
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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