he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
As shirtless as possible
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize