My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
