yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I need to stop coming to work sober
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
