Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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