White coat. Heels.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
