why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize