check it out our google latitudes are spooning
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
