Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Farmville is her only friend.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
