I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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